Saturday

Punishment ideas

In other articles I have mentioned the idea of "Punishment Lists." While doing a rewrite of some material it occurred to me that I have not done a very thorough job of explaining the idea behind such lists. And, as I have recently been asked for some ideas about punishment, it seems natural to combine the two into another article.

Often, when a Master makes up a punishment on the fly, a detail or two gets missed. This often results in the punishment being either more or less severe than was intended. One way to limit this is to prepare a list of possible punishments ahead of time. This way the Master can take adequate time to think through all the consequences a punishment may have. Once the Dominant is sure they fully understand the dynamics of a specific punishment, they can then decide it if should be added to their list or not. When the need for a punishment presents itself the Master can focus on using punishment as tool to correct behavior rather than having to evaluate the possible effects of the punishment. This reduces the likelihood that a punishment will have unintended results.

The list itself should include a rating of each punishment's severity, as well as, the specific punishment. The rating scale is rather arbitrary, but a simple 1-10 scale works pretty well.

Here is where things get a bit more complicated. There are actually several ways to use a punishment list. The first is to have a list of 10 punishments (or however many you like) each slightly more severe than the last, so that you have one punishment for each level of severity. When used this way the Dominant simply picks the level of severity appropriate to the misbehavior in question. It is a good idea to record the level of severity you assigned to the particular misbehavior so that you can keep consistent.

A variation on this first method is to have several punishments for each level. For instance, if you have 10 levels of severity you might have 3 punishments of each level for a total for 30 punishments. Under this system once you assign a level of severity for an infraction, you still have some flexibility to match the punishment with the crime. If you favor this system it is important to make sure that all the punishments listed under a particular level are actually equal in severity.

Another way to use punishment lists is to have a list of all level 1 punishments. With this method, you use 1 punishment from the list for level one, 2 punishments from the list for level two and so on. This is a very flexible way to do things and avoids the risks associated with harsher punishments by simply stacking lesser punishments to get to the desired level of severity.

Of course, there are many other ways punishment lists can be used. These lists are not intended to straightjacket the Master, but rather, they are meant to provide consistency. Consistency is more important than severity when the intent is refining behavior.

What follows is a collection of punishment ideas along with a few comments about each of the suggestions. It is my hope this will provide the some creative fuel for Master developing their own list of punishments.

  • Specific Unpleasant Chore

This can include things such as cleaning the stove, cleaning blinds and windows, scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush, detailing a car, etc. The Master can make a list of chores and rotate through them to avoid re-cleaning a recently cleaned item. Chores assigned as punishments should not include chores that are part of the submissives normal duties. It is important to distinguish normal chores from '"punishment chores" or the submissive may start to view all chores as punishment
  • Sleeping On The Floor (or somewhere other then normal sleep arrangements)

This punishment is can be effective for dealing with a submissive that has become too vanilla in manner. Because of social conditioning this punishment tends to stress the position of the submissive relative to the Master.
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Standing In A Corner
This is an old standard. It gives the submissive time to think about the infraction. The length of time can vary from few minutes to an hour or more. It is suggested that the  Master try this punishment for themselves, to get a sense of how difficult this punishment may or may not be for the length of time in question.
  • A Fixed Number Of Strikes From A Designated Punishment Toy
If you are going to use striking as a punishment it is critical to differentiate punishment from play. To this end, it is worthwhile to separate punishment toys from play toys to keep the line between punishment and play clearly defined. Punishment of this type should not include a warm up and, it should be harsher and of much shorter duration than play. I would suggest using no more than three strikes; as drawing punishment out into more strikes can make punishment overly similar to rough play. Because there is a practical limit to the severity of this type of physical punishment, it is best used for minor to moderate infractionsmpt to deliver this type of punishment with the same level of firmness each time it is used; do not let anger influence the firmness of the strikes.
  • Writing Assignments Of Some Specific Length

This punishment is helpful when the Master wants the submissive to think about or research a subject. It is recommended that this punishment be used intermittently rather then regularly to keep the act of writing from taking on a negative connotation.
  • Kneeling On A Hard Surface

This is a very classic punishment that combines giving the submissive time to think about the infraction with mild physical discomfort. If the length of time to kneel will exceed 20 minutes it is recommended that a full 5 minute break be given after every 20 minutes. Kneeling for too long on a hard surface can cause nerve damage. It is also good to keep in mind that some submissives may not be able to kneel 20 minutes because of physical considerations. It may be that some submissives need to do cycles of 10 minutes of kneeling and 5 minutes of rest.
  • Kneeling On Uncooked Rice

Kneeling on a hard surface can be made more severe by dropping a handful of uncooked rice on the floor where the submissive is going to kneel. Once the time period is done the submissive can be instructed to clean up the rice as part of bringing the punishment to a close. This is another punishment where is suggested the Master try it for themselves to get a feel of the punishment. The same cautions and time limits apply to this as when kneeling without the rice. The Master should also be aware that the rice sometimes causes marking of the skin. Lastly, do not use instant rice as it crumbles and defeats the purpose of using rice.
  • Food Restrictions

Obviously some common sense is required with using food restrictions a punishment. Being sent to bed without dinner is a certainly not going to cause a healthy individual any harm. However, denying a diabetic food after they took their insulin could result in death. One suggested way to use food restrictions is to deny the submissive sweets for a period of time (days/weeks) as a punishment.
  • Restriction Of Computer, TV Privileges, Etc.

Restriction of recreational access to things such as the computer or TV can be useful motivators when they can be enforced. The restriction can be total, where the submissive is not allowed any access to the items, or it can be limited to a certain amount of time. There is a wide range of options under this heading.
  • Cold Shower

A brief cold shower can be used as a rather impressive punishment. There are several points to keep in mind when using this as a punishment. First, tap water varies in temperature depending on the time of year. A small difference in temperature makes a huge difference in the severity of the punishment. Next, it is important to define what is meant by "short". Less then 5 minutes is generally quite safe for any fit person; however, 30 seconds can be quite attention getting. This is another 'try it before you use' it type of punishment.
  • Send The Submissive To A Room By Themselves

This one generally speaks for itself. It gives time for calming down and for reflecting. This is often a good choice when the Dom wants to avoid adding stress to a situation.
  • Grounding

Being restricted to home can be a relatively effective and low stress punishment. External factors greatly affect the harshness of being restricted to home. This means that the same punishment is more or less severe depending on what else is going on in the submissive's life at the time. Being restricted when one has already bought tickets to a concert is more significant then being restricted when one has no plans.
  • Speech Restrictions

Speech restrictions can range from requiring the submissive to speak in third person to requiring the submissive to not speak at all for a period of time. When silence is used as a punishment it is helpful to have the submissive carry around a notebook and pen so they can convey necessary information. Requiring a submissive to speak in third person is an effective way to make the submissive aware of self-centered behavior. Many times a submissive may not be aware of how just often they refer to their own opinions and desires in casual speech.
  • Public Apology

Apologizing in a public forum stresses humility. The Dominant must carefully consider the reaction of those who are going to hear the apology.
  • Financial Penalties - Allowance Restrictions

If the Master controls the finances in the relationship restricting spending money can be used as a punishment. This is same as a parent withholding allowance and generally works best over shorter terms such as a week to a month. When it becomes longer then a month the punishment starts to become the norm.
  • Lecture

A good old-fashioned lecture can be an effective punishment. The lecture should include what specifically was wrong with the submissive's behavior and why it was wrong. The lecture should also include what the submissive should have done under the circumstance and why. If the submissive is required to maintain a physically stressful position during the lecture (such as kneeling) then the Dominant must also keep in mind cautions associated with the physical position such as time limits.
  • Master Expressing Anger

As odd as it may sound to some, the simple expression that the Master is angry at the submissive often carries a fair amount of punishment value. However, a fair number of submissives are inclined to view criticism and/or the expression of anger as an indication that the Master does not care about them. This can be nightmare of a problem and it is one that Master should always keep in mind.

It is my hope that at the very least this writing has provided some thoughts for consideration on the topic of discipline as it applies to a D/s relationship.

44 comments:

  1. ha ha well good ideas gonna try them on my bitch tonight

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    1. Using the belt always straightens me out, quickly. I hate the belt, but it does keep my mind right.

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    2. "ha ha well good ideas gonna try them on my bitch tonight"
      Seem to me that this person have no respect for his slave. Owning a a slave is an enormous gift, donøt you forget it, or she might leave.

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    3. Don't judge, we're all freaks here. Some submissives like to be called "bitch". I do, and I don't consider it disrespectful.

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  2. Very good read. Me and mine have just entered into a 24/7 and punishments for negative behavior is a concern of mine. Having a sub that enjoys pain means getting creative.

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  3. I am married in a 24/7 relationship. It works for us!! I am a very good sub because punishment is hell.

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    1. I am also a 24/7 sub, and I agree punishment is hell. I am disciplined on a daily basis, which is 25 with his hand, 10 with a wooden paddle, 10 with a ruler and 5 with a belt. If I need punishment after this it is always with the belt, he explained that is why the belt is always last when I'm disciplined, so it is fresh in my mind. I hate the belt, but it is very effective.

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  4. yes very good insight,

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  5. I am happy that my HoH supports me in trying to fufill my desire to be his submissive wife when I am not at work. We have set out clear rules I must meet and we change this as necessary based on learnings from my behaviour. Over the years we have been married this has helped me improve. I dress plainly at home always in a long skirt or dress, make my own clothes (this was added to the rules after I failed to dress appropriately on multiple occassions rather than being a punishment), do all the housework, entertain his guests, do extra work for the Church and behave respectfully. He helps me by ensuring I receive a couple of maintenance spankings every week as a minimum which remind me of my role. If I misbehave I get punished from our agreed list of sanctions. The amount and length of the punsihments is decided by HoH. I hate being punsihed and am always regretful of my transgressions. I get extra chores and banned from watching TV, reading magazines and using the PC. Worst is that as above many punishments are those normally given to a child and teach me that if I behave like a naughty girl I will be treated like one. I have to write lines and essays in detention, am sent to the spare room for hours, am sent to bed early e.g. 6pm at weekends, do corner time with my hands on my head as a separate sanction in addition to after a spanking or corporal punishment, do without supper, have my mouth washed with soap and water (without exception if I lie), receive the strap or cane to my behind and/or hands, receive spankings across my behind by hand or with a paddle, hairbrush or clothes brush and most humiliatingly sometimes am confined to school uniform which I had to make myself of large old fashioned school knickers, knee socks, long sleeved gingham school dress and a matching crew necked wool cardigan. I hate being punished like others and do my very best not to break the strict rules I have agreed to.

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  6. My Master tends to make me sleep on the floor in a cage if I'm trouble, hands cuffed behind me to a bar and I have to beg to use the bed for two weeks after it ends (he sometimes says no).

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  7. My master doesn't punish me hard enough. Its always a light spanking.

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  8. I am a submissive that enjoys the pain and I push for punishments. Humiliation, display, anything. Public naked photo shoot. Don't matter to me. My master makes me think of new things then histories them. We need ideas that go beyond normal punishments to try.

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  9. I am a submissive that enjoys the pain and I push for punishments. Humiliation, display, anything. Public naked photo shoot. Don't matter to me. My master makes me think of new things then histories them. We need ideas that go beyond normal punishments to try.

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  10. I am a new sub.How does your Master punish you? I need ideas , My Master wants to punish me severly for disobeying.

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    1. It depends on what i do wrong. He loves to humilate with punishment. He enjoys making me masturbate but not allowing me to orgasm until he does. He loves to use different objects and makes me fuck myself with them and then lick them. He grounds me by tying me to the bed naked and spread and occasionally comes in to use me.

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    2. I'm a Master I punish my sub with a 30 second cold shower and while she wet bend her over and make her recite alphabet along with a word that starts with that letter and when stalls I swat her ass with padfle

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    3. I don't mean this in a mean way...but why would you, as the sub, need punishment ideas? Seems to me that would be your Master's decision and not yours.

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  11. My master is still learning how to properly train me. Plus, it's long distance. He's doing amazing so far! So I'm sending him this link and showing him these punishments. It helps him.

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  12. I spank my slave hard and use a teeth brush in her pee hole for 5 minutes and use a but plug and vibrant bullet over night work as good punishment but the best punishment is to get your slave or sub trand to a word u say to make her cum at anytime

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    1. As far as I've seen, cumming with a certain word only really happens in hypno subs/slaves. I could be wrong though.

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    2. I am a slave nd would love to have a master like you @blackwolf1976

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  13. I love being punished and my master beats me hard as punishment..more pain than I like..and it works

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  14. I’m curious about where do Masters/Doms get new ideas for punishments?

    Is there any place where you can go and share ideas about punishments and experiences?

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  17. Peristiwa Penting Dalam Sejarah Internet Wajib Tahu!!!
    http://helmykkediricomp.blogspot.com/2015/08/peristiwa-penting-dalam-sejarah-internet.html

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  18. I found Fetlife and GetDare as good place to get ideas from...
    Any other suggestions?

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  19. I'm a new sub. my punishment and toying me for 4 hours from 7 to 11 pm. to me, he's kind, but ferocious. usually, he always makes me wear costume play outfits , and last time was a sailor fuku clothes from an anime. he always put collar on my neck, and vibrators on my nipples, ass and pussy. fuah, before we start he use a toothbrush on my pee hole for about 7 minutes. and then... well... he's a creative person too. he connects a small brush and you know.. a bike. he told me to ride on it every time when you paddle it, the brush rotates and my hand is tied up and my eyes are covered then I need to paddle to the living room and go see his friends (he always invite them twice a month) and say "Fuck me and my body. I'm your toy, please do everything you like" he prepared a lot of toys like dildos vibrators whip, paddle collar and marker. his first guest always use my mouth (cause I'm good at blowjob) second one will pinch, whip and slap me if I didn't say the words he wanted me to say but I always disobey it cause my master told me so. and at the 2nd hour, they'll massage my big breast (sorry master, my cup is D) and pinch my clitoris, make me paddle the bike so the brush keep rolling also put the worn toothbrush on my pee hole. they made me say bad things about my master, then my master joined, he slapped, fucked, and punish me for as long as it takes... i shouldn't obey them cause i wanna feel good... my master isn't angry anymore. but I need ideas for the punishment... so my master can forgive me once more.. how about adding more punishment and extend our time? how's that sound to you guys?

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  20. My first punishment involved humiliation.

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    1. My punishment was for not calling him Sir and disrespecting him in front of his friends. After everyone left a friend stayed behind. I was forced to take my clothes off and lie down on the floor. My Dom kept my legs open and then told his friend to use fingers, an object and mouth, on me. His friend complied and the object used was a bottle. My Dom kept my legs open for this to happen. His friend was a girl who did this to me and has become one of my duties now. If i disrespect him again i will have to do this in front of his friends.

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  21. Hi, so i need some more creative ideas for the punishment which are to be used on me by my Master.. oh but my hard limits are: anal, biting, needles and public humiliation.. please help..

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    1. You can find some new punishment ideas on our page

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  22. NewBe: My sub woke up late and is late for a session. I believe she is testing me! As soon as she shows up do I discipline her with a spanking? before we start?

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  23. A few things i like to do to my subs;

    Force them to gag on my cock, ocassionally until they vomit; a further punishment is to then clean it up with their tongues.

    One sub i like to make squirt into my mouth and then i force her to drink it.

    Gripping a subs face hard whilst slapping and spitting in her eyes is a good punishment; followed by a cold shower.

    Being used as a foot stool.

    Hard spanking and biting.

    Time outs whilst sucking their thumb.

    Just a few ideas.

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  24. I am a Master engaged to my submissive and we just had a fight. I had told her that I had been fantasizing a lot lately about the idea of another to join us. as this had not entered our initial agreement, we agreed to discuss the matter. a few days past and she told me she had some concerns. I was more than willing to discuss these issues with her until it became apparent that she has some trust issues due to an old partner cheating on her with someone they had previously been with as a couple. she did not see what she was doing. her anger got the better of her and a fight broke out. we argued for a while, (maybe 2-3 hours) but by the end of it I had shown her by her own words that she believed I would in fact cheat on her. at first she begged me not to push her to admit to it but I needed her to see that she was showing a lack of trust and disrespect to me. her argument collapsed and she realized her mistake. Now I am faced with trying to punish her in an appropriate way but even more complicated is that we are currently not in the same country. she had to return home and I am not due to go out there for a few months so I am unable to perform most of our usual punishments. she regrets her actions and I had to very clearly and strongly command her that she is not to punish herself and that she will not be punished while she is so upset. I understand that this was partly my fault that it happened in the first place yet what happened requires a firm punishment but this is far more than I ever expected from her and want to ensure that her punishment is both suitable and adequate but have never dealt with something quite so severe before on top of the fact that what ever punishment she receives must be carried out by her, observed on video call and not raise any questions with her family (they know we are engaged but not our lifestyle and young children could turn up). I would be grateful to hear advice from both sub and dominants or any ideas on what punishments could be applied.

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    1. I mean no disrespect Sir, and I hope you do not take offense to what I will say. I understand that you feel this is partly your fault. It isn't that she doesn't trust you - if she didn't trust you, she would not have entered a D/s relationship with you. But when you start talking about bringing another woman into the mix, especially after she has been cheated on in the past, it starts bringing up past insecurities. The thoughts that go through our minds are: Am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong? Am I not pleasing enough.. is He dissatisfied with me? What can I do to make him want only me and to satisfy him so that we dont' have to bring anyone else in? Even though she may not have voiced them, they're there. Did you alleviate her fears? Did you let her know it isn't her but something you've been fantasising about? I will say that sometimes some things are better left at fantasy and not reality. Bringing in another person, especially when one does not feel comfortable, can open up a whole realm of discontent and dissatisfaction. I think that not taking her thoughts, feelings, and past is a form of disrespect. Us submissives have feelings as well. Often our personalities, feelings, wants, and wishes get cast to the wayside for the Dom/me. And that isn't okay. If there weren't any submissives or slaves, there wouldn't be any Dom/mes or Masters/Mistresses.
      I hope you weren't offended by what I said. I know my Amo would not ever bring in another person if I was not comfortable with it. It's all about respect Sir.. which is a two way street. I wish you well.

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    2. I am married to my dom he wants me to be his slave 24/7 I love the pain and he loves to punish me

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    3. I'm new to this and my sub let it known she doesn't like to hurt or be hit or be put in a position to have to vormit, I feel,she takes the fun away of punishment cuz she won't take this contract serious so im supposed to come up with some punishment for our contract before she signed it. any suggestions?

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  25. My slave Did not complete a paper assignment and also has bin over reacting to situations that dont require any. What do you think a good punishment be

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  26. Add chrija1131 to snapchat. She needs a master shes a dirty fucking whore. She wont send photos with her face until she 110% trusts you. But who needs the face anyway for a useless slut.

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  27. why not another Master to give Her oral and fuck Her while you will be watching... And later give Her some light bondage and few lashes. Few hours later, some sensual massage and hot+cold sex, even anal.

    Just saying.

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  28. My slave Did not complete a paper assignment and also has bin over reacting to situations that dont require any. What do you think a good punishment be

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