Building Obedience in a slave.

I am accepting two more online or rt training Applications for 2014. two less than last year.  Master Gunter. I am not accepting any more orders for my custom made remote training collars unless it is fitted inhouse.
Obedience is a form of social conditioning and influence where an slave acts in response to a direct order from her Master, who is usually her authority figure. It is assumed that without such an order the slave would not have acted in this way.

Obedience implies compliance with the direction or command given to the slave by her Master. For a slave to be considered obedient rather than simply trained in obedience, she must respond reliably each time the command is given, by her Master. A slave can go through Obedience training and not be totally obedient requiring additional drastic training technics. If a slave is referred to as being Obedience Trained she should comply immediately with every command her Master gives her. In the strictest sense an Obedience trained slave is an obedient slave.
Training a slave in obedience can be an ongoing and lengthy process depending on the slave and her Master, the methods used, and the skill and understanding of both the Master and the slave. The level of obedience the Master wishes to achieve with the slave is also a major factor in the time involved, as is the commitment to training by the Master.
                                                                                                 pic with permission from

Obedience training is often a prerequisite for or component of other training such as anal training, bi-sexual training, cock sucking training, pussy eating training etc.
The actual training of the slave can be done by anyone, not just her Master or her owner. Typically the Master who is training the slave participates and trains the slave, as He will be the one who will be giving the commands. The relationship and trust between the slave and her Master are important for success.
Basic obedience training is typically a short course ranging from six to ten weeks, where it is demonstrated to the Master how to communicate with and train the slave into deeper slavery in a few simple commands. With most methods the slave is trained one group of commands at a time. Though there may or may not be a specific word attached to it, slave positions is often the first training required prior to learning other comands such as walking properly on a leash, or leash control, cock worship, gorean techniques are often some of the training required prior to learning other more indebt commands.

The specific command word is not important, but consistency in usage is. There are certain commands that are accepted as standard and commonly used. 
When under training or in slave or service mode, the slave is often naked when at home. If anything is worn, she is usually in a collar, leash or lead, and perhaps a tail if she is also trained as a puppy/kitty.

Inspection Position
 In inspection position one such as she would normally be stripped, and standing with her feet spread, and her hands clasped either behind the back of her neck, or behind her head. In this way the breasts are lifted nicely, and, given the position
of the hands, one has no interference to one’s vision, and, similarly, one may, perhaps walking about her, test her for firmness, and for vitality, and such things. ”
[Swordsmen of Gor, p16] 

obedientlaura in inspection position. Permission to post obtained from

Nadu Position:
The first and most used of all Gorean slave positions, and also one of the first ones a slave learns.  Nadu is the Gorean word for "kneel".  In this position the slave kneels,  sits upon her heels with her back and shoulders straight, chest out, belly in and her head up, though her eyes are downcast.  Thighs are widely spread, hands resting upon thighs, palms upward.

Tower Slave Position:
       This position is another variation of nadu in which the slave kneels the same way but her palms down and her knees modestly together.  This position is typically reserved for underage or White Silk slaves, or those slaves who do not serve their Master/Mistress in a sexual way.

       Also known as Belly Position.  Bara is the Gorean word for "belly" and slave is expected to respond to either command in the same fashion.  In this position the slave falls to her stomach, face down to the floor and turned to the left, crosses her wrists behind her back and similarly crosses her ankles.  legs are straight in preparation for binding.

I would later become extremely familiar with such positions, but they were, at the time, quite new to me, and somewhat frightening. What most frightened me about them was the way they made me feel. It was not merely that, in them, I found profoundly stirred. In them, helplessly, vulnerably, I also sensed a personal rightness. I knew that in some sense I belonged in them. This was in contradiction to my entire upbringing, background, education and conditioning. Could such things have been wrong? Witness of Gor, page 23

Belly: or Ass position
The slave moves to her belly, hands palms down near the sides of her head, forehead to the ground and waits for further orders

The slave gets down on all fours, palms to elbows flat against the floor, bottom in the air, forehead close but not quite touching the ground and crawls to within inches of the Master's feet.


The slave lays down upon her back, bending her knees to place her feet flat against the ground, hands at her side and remains motionless

Sula:  or Pussy Position
       Also known as Prone Position.  The slave lays upon her back, her hands at her sides, palms upward, legs widely spread to await her Master's pleasure.

       Also known as Alternative Sula.   This position is almost identical to Sula position but she slowly lifts her hips off the floor, as if beckoning the Master with her body encouraging her sexual use.

       Also known as Binding Position.   The Gorean word Lesha means "leash".  In this position, the slave remains standing or kneeling, depending upon the current position she is in.  She turns and puts her back to the Master, back and shoulders straight, wrists extened behind her, side by side in a position to be locked into chained slave bracelets, her chin up, her head turned to the left so a leash may be attached to the collar.

       Also known as Chaining Position.   In this position the slave stands gracefully before the master, with her hips slightly turned to one side, her back and shoulders erect, her wrists crossed behind her and her head turned to the left, in anticipation of having slave bracelts attached to her wrists.

Also known as Collaring Position or the Position of female Submission.  the slave kneels at the Master's feet and leans her body back, sitting upon her heels, her arms extended upward, crossed at the wrists, her head beneath them and lowered in supplication.

Hair Position:
       The slave stands, her feet flat on the floor, and bows gracefully at the waist, just so her hair might fall forward for display, or to be shorn, seized, or used for any purpose the Master desires.

Whipping Position:
       In this position, the slave first assumes the nadu position, though her arms are crossed in front of her.  She then leans forward and places her head to the floor, first sweeping her hair forward and over her shoulders in order to have her back fully exposed to the whip.

Obedience Position:
       The slave goes to the floor, alying upon her stomach, face down before the Master.  She turns her head and places her cheek against the Master's feet, kissing them lightly in a gesture of love and submission.

       Also known as "assuming the modality of the she-quadruped".  In this position, the slave falls to hands and knees, her head down on the floor, her hindquarters upthrusted for the viewing pleasure of the Master.  "Serving in the modality of the she-quadruped" is an instruction whereby the slave performs her regular duties upon hands and knees, withought the benefit of the use of her hands.  In this mode she may not rise to her feet and may only use her mouth and teeth to grasp and maniulate objects.

Leading Position:
       The slave stands and moves behind the master, bending at the waist.  She places her hands behind her and puts the side of her head to the Master's hip, that he might lead her easily by the hair or collar while walking.

Table Position: goes to all fours, her back straight, her legs parted, hands perpendicular to her body, palms flat upon floor, her hair pulled off over the left shoulder. (the slave may now be used as a table or foot rest) 

Slaver's kiss Position: to the floor on all fours ...her head lowered to the ground ...buttocks high in the air ...thighs widely spread ...her slave's heat exposed 
In order to obey (Master's) authority, the obeying person (slave) has to be programmed to accept that it is legitimate (i.e. rightful, legal) for the command to be made of them.  

Obedience occurs when a fully trained slave is issued a command to do something (authority), whereas conformity happens through social pressure (the norms of the majority). Obedience involves a hierarchy of power / status. Therefore, the Master giving the order has a higher status than the slave receiving the order.

Real Life Example of Obedience (sic)

Adolf Eichmann was executed in 1962 for his part in organizing the Holocaust, in which six million Jewish people, as well as gypsies, communists and trade unionists were transported to death camps and murdered in Nazi Germany and surrounding countries under Nazi control.
Eichmann was a logistical genius whose part in the Holocaust was the planning of the efficient collection, transportation and extermination of those to be killed.  At his trial in 1961, Eichmann expressed surprise at being hated by Jewish people, saying that he had merely obeyed orders, and surely obeying orders could only be a good thing. In his jail diary Eichmann wrote 'The orders were, for me, the highest thing in my life and I had to obey them without question' (extract quoted in The Guardian, 12 August, 1999, p. 13).
Eichmann was declared sane by six psychiatrists, he had a normal family life and observers at his trial described him as very average.  Given that there appears to be nothing particularly unusual about Eichmann, we must face the uncomfortable possibility that his behavior was the product of the social situation in which he found himself, and that under the right circumstances we may all be capable of monstrous acts.
Following the Second World War - and in particular the Holocaust - psychologists set out to investigate the phenomenon of human obedience. Early attempts to explain the Holocaust had focused on the idea that there was something distinctive about German culture that had allowed the Holocaust to take place.
Stanley Milgram set out to test the research question 'are Germans different?', but he quickly found that we are all surprisingly obedient to people in authority. In one of the most famous series of experiments in psychology Milgram (1963-74) demonstrated that most participants would give a helpless victim fatal electric shocks when ordered to. Milgram later ran a number of variations to the basic study, to find out more about the particular factors which might influence obedience.

slave mira's obedience essay ( sent in by slave mira)

I am a submissive woman ( sent in by leashedlaura)

Submission is a gift given, not taken. Domination is mastering oneself first, before all others. And trust is what binds each together. These are the most important things that I have learned in the 10 years I have been in the lifestyle and I'm interested in talking to slaves and subs who are curious. remember slavery is illegal. Only consentual BDSM erotic play is legal between consenting adults.
Milton once said that the mind is it own place and in itself, can make a heaven of hell and hell of heaven. This describes the type of play I enjoy the most. I learn your desires and fears and find ways of bring those emotions to the surface and experience them using any methods as required.
Loyalty, Honesty, Discipline, Creativity, Humility, Intensity, Curiosity, Manners, Courage, Obedience, Humour, Intelligence, Endurance, Flexibility, Patience, Gratitude, Spontaneity, Faith and Commitment - this is mostly who I am and mostly what I am looking for in a slave. Pick one of these and explain what you can and will be and how you will change for your Master. Master

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Accepting who you are.

Two of the most overwhelming challenges all creatures born human are faced with are identifying who we are, and then accepting who we are. Whether Owner, Master, slave or anyone else, the challenges are equally great. In this group we are relating only to those whose lives are defined by who they are, and the associated title they claim. An Owner always IS who someone is. There is no alternative. Masters and slaves might be equally born to BE either Master or slave. Or, Masters and slaves might be born to have their mastery or slavery as only one more thing that they do, just like being a carpenter or fireman. Either way, we either ARE our roles, or those roles are only what we do.
Owners, along with the Masters and slaves, potential Masters or slaves or those exploring their mastery or slavery, who belong to this group know somehow that these titles are more than a profession, a hobby, or just another characteristic of who we are.
The first challenge, of identifying who we are, is easy for some, and extremely difficult for others. Everyone comes to the self realization in their own unique way. Along the way, a lot of things seem true for awhile, but through exploring and the experiences gained, we let go of those old beliefs and move on to new beliefs and new self images. We all start with our egotistic self image and the beliefs that allow our ego's control.
We also start out with average descriptions of who we are. From the moment we understand a language we are taught what is expected of us. Those expectations are always within the very limited confines of acceptable human behavior. This is how we are controlled and socialized.
Here, among this group, we are exploring becoming extraordinary. All the arguments that apply to average human beings belong with discussions of average people. The movement to becoming spiritually mature involves relinquishing average human logic in deference to Divine logic.
We don’t define life. We can only discover life. When we quit trying to become what we’re not, often after exhaustion, we can accept who we are. That takes great courage, and sometimes great pain. It is never without cost.
As average citizens, if we enter a burning building to retrieve a fire victim we are considered heroes. Our egos love being heroes. That’s what the ego strives for. If, however, we claim ourselves to be a fireman, from qualifying to do so, we no longer have the option to go past anyone in a burning building. We are then doing the minimum expected if we go to extraordinary means to retrieve someone from a fire. We are disciplined, if not fired, in contempt, if we fail to do what would have been heroic for an average citizen, but what is only the fulfillment of minimum responsibility when titled “fireman”.
The courage to claim who we are is one of the greatest acts we will ever perform in our lifetime. We must overcome our natural cowardice when we claim the responsibility of who we are. We must permanently give up the opportunity to be considered heroic from the average egotistic perspective. We must give up being average and become unsung heroes. My grandmother used to say, “Anything we do that others know about, we shall never be credited with.”
When we recognize we are meant to lead or direct others’ lives, we are accepting a deep and moral responsibility. Every order we issue must carry with it moral responsibility for that order. A Master’s ego would rather His slave remain egotistically responsible because then the Master doesn’t need to. It’s cheap and easy to issue an order that we expect the receiver to remain responsible for accepting and obeying.
Courage is being qualified and willing to accept full responsibility for our orders. We are no more beneficial than a leather “hints from Heloise” without the associated responsibility. All the platitudes about human dignity and intelligence and rights make great prose, but are nothing more than excuses to use and abuse, to the extent that another will accept our commands. Everything remains “their fault” because it was made clear they must think for themselves.
Issuing orders that are refutable is what every two-year old does naturally. The child indiscriminately demands everything it wants and the parents’ agreement with the orders is what protects the child from receiving more than it should have. The child takes no responsibility for anything demanded. The child doesn’t need to, because the parents do.
Issuing irrefutable orders is what matters, what makes a difference and what requires timbre and character, courage and strength. No child is capable of taking responsibility, so the parents must. Anyone who claims to command others, however, must take adult responsibility and not demand that the receiving slave carry the responsibility for acceptance. Making demands on another who must carry the responsibility for what is demanded is no different than the act of a demanding child.
The evolutionary purpose of every One who takes real responsibility, regardless of their title, is to find moral certainty. That means knowing for sure what to do. Until we have moral certainty we are still conducting the demanding acts of a child. Moral certainty only comes from identifying, developing and maintaining a direct connection to the “source” of all intelligence. The nature of that intelligence can be viewed differently by each, but acceptance and connection with IT is the critical essence of moral certainty.
Slaves are created without the personal capacity for moral certainty. Their connection is through us. If we don’t have a morally certain connection, we can’t give a slave theirs. We can’t give what we don’t already have. If a slave is capable of finding its own moral certainty, then it has no business pretending to be a slave. Slaves are not weak creatures who seek a co-dependent life to avoid developing their own morally certain connection. Slaves are potentially the strongest creatures of all of us.
It is in slaves' nature to only find the connection that allows moral certainty through their destined Owners. That’s what draws them to us. If not for this reason, then we are only enabling some weakness or pathology that would be better cured through professional help.
Admittedly, moral certainty is an advanced human state. Most don’t even hope to achieve the connection required in their lifetimes. The invitation to this group touches the part of you that knows there is something more, something beyond what humans can understand egotistically.
Our challenge here, isn’t to maintain our human egotistic identification and pride, not to discourage others from going beyond being average, but to surrender to our adulthood. Our task is to passionately proclaim our search for obedience, which, when found, defines all spiritual adulthood.
There are men and women in this group who have paid heavy prices to know who they are and to become who they are. We can learn from what they have gone through. We can save effort by knowing what they used to believe before they found and accepted the Truth. These people deserve and have My respect, none more than slaves who also suffer the societal denigration of their titles.
There is a law of life that we cannot give away what we don’t have. Until we have self respect we can’t give it to others. Whenever we find it difficult to give respect, we must examine the deficit of self respect we find in our own lives. Naming as arrogant those who have the courage to claim their roles in life is such an average thing for the ego to do to justify not claiming one's own role in life. It is so much easier to maintain the chance to become heroic by claiming no title, thereby avoiding the responsibility that would come with such a claim.
Maslow told us that anything worth doing well is worth doing poorly until we learn how. None of us begins at “perfect”. We all take small, stumbling steps while we learn to do what is extraordinary. We are measured in life by whether we encourage and facilitate those steps or whether we mock and discourage them. That’s what being either a part of the problem or of the solution is all about.
Another law of life is that we are either growing or dying. In each moment we make decisions which determine which is happening. We have the collective potential here to become the most alive creatures on earth.
My thanks to all of you who are doing just that.


Wife/GF/partner Training camp

Wife /gf /Partner Training Camp

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It’s Boot Camp for Your Wife/gf/partner!

Many men who choose our wife training camp or boot camp for women either have little time to train their wife or girlfriend, or are too afraid it might blow up in their face, or have no clue how to go about it, or in rare cases are having another affair, or have another gf or in much more rare occasions are going away on vacation and want their wife trained quickly while they are away. The main benefit of boarding your wife for training is that more commands can be taught and imprinted to her in a shorter period of time. This is accomplished because she will participate in 3-5 training sessions each day and will also be living with a professional trainer. Between training sessions, your wife will have time to reflect on her training, socialize with one or two other slaves, snacks, and secluded walks on leash etc.
Unlike a few other wife obedience camps,  TrainHerWell Obedience camps teaches your wife in a home environment, as well as outdoors, around other women, squirrels, woods, dogs, people, cars, etc. We introduce the wife to as many different circumstances as possible because we don’t want your wife to get complacent in her training and not want to improve on her training.
TrainherWell Obedience Unlimited includes follow-up training sessions with your custom packages to make sure the training is long-lasting and effective. When you wife/gf/partner is returned home, a trainer will give you a full session demonstration and the first follow-up lesson.

Contact TrainherWell Obedience Unlimited. limited training slots available.

slave micromanagement

In BDSM terms, micromanagement can be defined as "atten[tion] to minor details in slave management: control [of] a a slave or her situation by paying extreme attention to minor details".[5]
The general notion of micromanagement can be extended to a Master/slave context where the Master takes a bully approach, in the level of control and influence over the slave he is training.. Often, this excessive obsession with the most minute of details causes the slave to relinquish all control of her choice decisions  to focus and trust her Master with all of her choice decisions.

Rather than giving general instructions on smaller tasks and then devoting his time to
supervising larger concerns, the Master monitors and assesses every step of a protocol and process and avoids delegation of even the minute of all decisions to the slave.
Masters practicing Micromanagement are usually irritated when a slave makes a decisions without the expertise of the Master or consulting the Master, even if the decisions are totally within the slave's boundary.

Master vs Ownership

Some posts have already appeared to answer the question of how to learn to like WS. Obedience is at the bottom of everything for a slave.
I'm going to answer the bigger question of negotiating with a Master.
For those who have read My called "How Do I Become an Owner" it is clear that I see the role of a "Master" to be diametrically different from an "Owner". I'm aware that most use "Master" and "Owner" interchangeably despite their dramatic differences.
The question in this post describes a negotiation with a "Master", and not a search for an Owner. Anyone who places future conditions and requirements on the relationship is negotiating for his own needs. A slave who places future limitations by listing requirements is doing the same.
A slave looking for its Owner is entering into a contract that demands only "Obey every order." An Owner's contract is "Act in the best interest of the slave." That is the totality of the Divine contract that binds an Owner to His destined slave.
When either the Master or the potential slave starts modifying that contact with "Must look like . . ." or "Must provide the service of . . ." it is NOT an Ownership but a Master/slave relationship that is under discussion and consideration.
Once it is clear that a Master/slave arrangement is being put together, the exchange of obedience and responsibility described in post #363 is not being applied. Therefore, the slave is expected, by necessity, to protect itself and maintain self responsibility. Anyone who describes their own needs is not offering Ownership.
A slave is either ready to obey, or still needs to prepare for Ownership by shopping for and negotiating with a Master. Some are never meant to be destined slave and a negotiated relationship might be the ultimate position.
slaves don't prepare for slavery by developing individual skills. slaves prepare for slavery by developing the
ability to really and actually obey. Obedience is wanting and needing only what The Owner gives it to want and need. Nothing else matters and everything else is the egotistic development of the skills resume useful only for Master/slave negotiation.
A slave cannot pick its Owner, that has been destined. An Owner cannot pick His slave because that too has been destined. We are either fulfilling our destiny or fulfilling our need to grow egotistically, but each is a different pursuit. Any time we’re shopping, and comparison of wants and needs is brought up, we are picking a Master/slave partner. This should never be confused for Born slavery.
Within that context, decide to obey The Owner or prepare to develop its slave resume to prepare to negotiate its relationship with a Master. Either is legitimate. Just be clear what you're doing.

Classical Conditioning

Behaviorism as a movement in psychology appeared in 1913 when John Broadus Watsonpublished the classic article 'Psychology as the behaviorist views it'.

John Watson proposed that the process ofclassical conditioning (based on Pavlov’sobservations) was able to explain all aspects of human psychology.
Everything from speech to emotional responses were simply patterns of stimulus and response. Watson denied completely the existence of the mind or consciousness.
Watson believed that all individual differences in behavior were due to different experiences of learning. He famously said:
Give me a dozen healthy individuals, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in and I'll guarantee to take any one at random and train her to become any type of specialist I might select - doctor, lawyer, artist, merchant-chief and, yes, even slave or a prostitute, regardless of her talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations and the race of her ancestors”. (Watson, 1924, p. 104)


Ivan Pavlov showed that classical conditioning applied to animals can also be applied to humans  In an experiment (though ethically dubious) experiment showed that it did.
slave Mira was a 29-year-old female who was tested on a reactions to various stimuli. she was shown a white rat, a rabbit, a monkey and various masks.  Mira described as "on the whole stolid and unemotional" showed no fear of any of these stimuli.  However what did startle her and cause her to be afraid was if a hammer was struck against a steel bar behind her head.  The sudden loud noise would cause "slave Mira to burst into tears.
When "slave Mira" was just over 19 years old the white rat was presented and seconds later the hammer was struck against the steel bar.  This was done 7 times over the next 7 weeks and each time "slave Mira" burst into tears.  By now "slave Mira only had to see the rat and she immediately showed every sign of fear.  she would cry (whether or not the hammer was hit against the steel bar) and she would attempt to crawl away. 
This was shown that classical conditioning could be used to create a phobia. A phobia is an irrational fear, i.e. a fear that is out of proportion to the danger.  Over the next few weeks and months "slave Mira" was observed and 10 days after conditioning her fear of the rat was much less marked.  This dying out of a learned response is called extinction.  However even after a full month it was still evident.


Watson, J. B. & Rayner, R. (1920). Conditioned emotional reactionsJournal of Experimental Psychology, 3, 1, pp. 1–14.
Watson, J. B. (1924). behaviorism. New York: People's Institute Publishing Company.
How to cite this article: McLeod, S. A. (2008). Simply Psychology; . Retrieved 19 March 2012, from

Further Information

Defense Mechanisms

Sigmund Freud noted a number of ego defenses which he refers to throughout his written works.  His daughter Anna developed these ideas and elaborated on them, adding five of her own.  Many psychoanalysts have also added further types of ego defenses.

Freud once said, "Life is not easy!" The ego -- the "I" -- sits at the center of some pretty powerful forces: reality; society, as represented by the superego; biology, as represented by the Id. 
When these make conflicting demands upon the poor ego, it is understandable if you feel threatened, fell overwhelmed, feel as if it were about to collapse under the weight of it all.  This feeling is called anxiety, and it serves as a signal to the ego that its survival, and with it the survival of the whole organism, is in jeopardy.
In order to deal with conflict and problems in life, Freud stated that the ego employs a range of defense mechanisms.  defense mechanisms operate at an unconscious level and help ward off unpleasant feelings (i.e. anxiety) or make good things feel better for the individual.
The ego, driven by the id, confined by the superego, repulsed by reality, struggles to master its economic task of bringing about harmony among the forces and influences working in and upon it; and we can understand how it is that so often we cannot suppress a cry 'life is not easy'!  If the ego is obliged to admit its weakness, it breaks out in anxiety regarding the outside world, moral anxiety regarding the superego, and neurotic anxiety regarding the strength of the passions in the id. (Freud 1933, p78).

Why do we need Ego defenses?

Memories banished to the unconscious, or unacceptable drives or urges do not disappear.  They continue to exert a powerful influence on behavior.  The forces, which try to keep painful or socially undesirable thoughts and memories out of the conscious mind, are termed defense mechanisms.

There is a perpetual battle between the wish (repressed into the id) and the defense mechanisms.
We use defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from feelings of anxiety or guilt, which arise because we feel threatened, or because our id or superego becomes too demanding.  They are not under our conscious control, and are non-voluntaristic.  With the ego, our unconscious will use one or more to protect us when we come up against a stressful situation in life.  Ego-defense mechanisms are natural and normal.  When they get out of proportion, neuroses develop, such as anxiety states, phobias, obsessions, or hysteria.

Examples of Defenses Mechanisms

There are a large number of defense mechanisms; the main ones are summarized below.

* Identification with the Aggressor

A focus on negative or feared traits. I.e. if you are afraid of someone, you can practically conquer that fear by becoming more like them.
An extreme example of this is the Stockholm Syndrome where hostages identify with the terrorists. E.g. Patty Hearst and the Symbionese Liberation Army.  Patty was abused and raped by her captors, yet she joined their movement and even took part in one of their bank robberies.  At her trial she was acquitted because she was a victim suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

* Repression

This was the first defense mechanism that Freud discovered, and arguably the most important. Repression is an unconscious mechanism employed by the ego to keep disturbing or threatening thoughts from becoming conscious.  Thoughts that are often repressed are those that would result in feeling of guilt from the superego.  For example, in the Oedipus complex aggressive thoughts about the same sex parents are repressed.

* Projection

This involves individuals attributing their own thoughts, feeling and motives to another person. Thoughts most commonly projected onto another are ones that would cause guilt such as aggressive and sexual fantasies or thoughts.  For instance, you might hate someone, but your superego tells you that such hatred is unacceptable.  You can 'solve' the problem by believing that they hate you.

* Displacement

Displacement is the redirection of an impulse (usually aggression) onto a substitute target.  If the impulse, the
desire, is okay with you, but the person you direct that desire towards is too threatening, you can displace to someone or something that can serve as a symbolic substitute. Someone who feels uncomfortable with their sexual desire for a real person may substitute a fetish.  Someone who is frustrated by his or her superiors may go home and kick the dog, beat up a family member, or engage in cross-burnings.

* Sublimation

This is similar to displacement, but takes place when we manage to displace our emotions into a constructive rather than destructive activity.  This might for example be artistic รข€“ many great artists and musicians have had unhappy lives and have used the medium of art of music to express themselves.  Sport is another example of putting our emotions (e.g. aggression) into something constructive.
Sublimation for Freud was the cornerstone of civilized life, arts and science are all sublimated sexuality. (NB. this is a value laden concept, based on the aspirations of a European society at the end of the 1800 century).

* Denial

Denial involves blocking external events from awareness.  If some situation is just too much to handle, the person just refuses to experience it.  As you might imagine, this is a primitive and dangerous defense - no one disregards reality and gets away with it for long! It can operate by itself or, more commonly, in combination with other, more subtle mechanisms that support it.  For example, smokers may refuse to admit to themselves that smoking is bad for their health.

* Regression

This is a movement back in psychological time when one is faced with stress.  When we are troubled or frightened, our behaviors often become more childish or primitive.  A child may begin to suck their thumb again or wet the bed when they need to spend some time in the hospital. Teenagers may giggle uncontrollably when introduced into a social situation involving the opposite sex.

* Rationalization

Rationalization is the cognitive distortion of "the facts" to make an event or an impulse less threatening.  We do it often enough on a fairly conscious level when we provide ourselves with excuses.  But for many people, with sensitive egos, making excuses comes so easy that they never are truly aware of it.  In other words, many of us are quite prepared to believe our lies.

* Reaction formation

This is where a person goes beyond denial and behaves in the opposite way to which he or she thinks or feels.  By using the reaction formation the id is satisfied while keeping the ego in ignorance of the true motives.  Conscious feelings are the opposite of the unconscious. Love - hate.  Shame - disgust and moralizing are reaction formation against sexuality.
Usually a reaction formation is marked by showiness and compulsiveness.  For example, Freud claimed that men who are prejudice against homosexuals are making a defense against their own homosexual feelings by adopting a harsh anti-homosexual attitude which helps convince them of their heterosexuality.  Other examples include:
* The dutiful daughter who loves her mother is reacting to her Oedipus hatred of her mother.
* Anal fixation usually leads to meanness, but occasionally a person will react against this (unconsciously) leading to over-generosity.

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